Physicist jokes
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
I like balls.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.