Brightness jokes
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.