Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
whats bright red and screams when you shake it? a skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Why did the camle cross the road
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods, They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go. Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more, ^-^ they filled my life with more Happiness, I believe in the Unicorns and they'll believe in me, I am not a Unicorn although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land but if I could be any creature I would be a Unicorn! :P
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
9/11 was like the 4th of july. It was very bright in the skies
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright
Being an orphan isn't all bad on the bright side all your snacks are family sized
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Why are asian's eyes always squinted? Nukes are bright
Steven Hawking had dark humor. Whenever he turned on his laugh effect it diverted power from his screen brightness.
When you look at the sun, its like looking at me
Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"My dick fell off in the shower" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your Weiner little one?' He says chuckling lightly.
