Pet jokes
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
I like cats.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Ur adopted.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.