Pet

Pet jokes

Cat

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hang ‘em?”

Dog

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

Kid

There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:

Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.

Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.

These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.

Only Ninety's kids know about this.

Rottweiler

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.

Sex

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

White people

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Puppy

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Cat

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

Owner

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

Mouse

Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O

Cat

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Monkey

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.