Pet jokes
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
I love my dog, Sadie.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Memes
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why heβs scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesnβt scratch, but he didnβt believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah π)
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
What time do dogs π get a walk done β ?
Time to walk with your dog πΆ!
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! π€ π€ π€ π€ π₯΄