The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Personal Jokes
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
