What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
