Personal

Personal jokes

Racism

136 views ·

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

Girlfriend

16 views ·

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

Asian

528 views ·

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Thought

33 views ·

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

Dairy

27 views ·

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

Car

63 views ·

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Victim

34 views ·

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

Friend

4 views ·

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

Ex

3 views ·

Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

Person 2: “What happened?”

Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

Person 1: “I was in my car.”