Personal jokes
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."