Personal jokes
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Memes
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.