Personal jokes
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!