Personal jokes
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.