Personal jokes
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Memes
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.