Personal jokes
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
Memes
SO TRUE
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.