Personal jokes
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.