Personal jokes
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Why did the person peel his skin off? Because he wanted to.
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)