Personal Care jokes
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Vaseline
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
