Personal Care jokes

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?

Shampoo.

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head N Shoulders.

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.

What kind of poo should you put in your hair?

Shampoo.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

Vaseline

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?

Head & Shoulders.