Personal Jokes

A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn't he skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.

yo mama is so fat she has her own personal gravity

Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you

Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

I guess age is just a number but in your boyfriends case a personal preference.

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished.

The dog lead went slack

whats sad and has no life .the person reding this

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That's means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea

Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy

What's a suicidal person's favorite game? Hangman

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.