Person jokes
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)