Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Person Jokes
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Make him read a book.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
