Person jokes

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?

The depressay expressay.

Just kidding, bleach!

What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?

A Lymphomaniac.

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?

Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.

What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.