Person jokes
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Make him read a book.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!