Person jokes

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Food

  • There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

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    Plane

  • Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

    It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

    Love

  • Why do you want me?

    Cus u like me...

    What do you mean?

    You love me.

    No.

    Look down.

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    Sister

  • As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

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    CPR

  • I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

    I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

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    Name

  • If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

    Teacher

  • In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

    In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

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