Person jokes

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

Why did the man miss the funeral?

He wasn’t a mourning person.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.