Person jokes
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
I am cool.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.