Person jokes

Ryan.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

What do you call a disabled person drowning?

A boat.

I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?

A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent.

Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, it's bleach.

How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.

Me.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

What do you call a Black person having a seizure?

What do you call an emo who's emo?

An emo.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."