Person jokes

Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.

Hey, dude man. I'm a dude man.

Gvido gubis.

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?

Person 2: No.

Person 1: It was in-tents.

It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!

Talk to me if you're online.

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"