Person jokes
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
If you are poor, get money.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.