Person jokes
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
I miss Gwen.
Coooper
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Can a person in a wheelchair stand up for themselves?
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.