Person jokes

Wish

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Baseball

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

Dick

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

Wheelchair

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

Ornament

Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?

'Cause she always dropped them.

Memes

Homo

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

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  • Blowjob

    What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

    Give a blowjob.

    Gun

    If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

    Fire

    What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

    Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

    Orphan

    Name one person who would take an orphan?

    Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

    Woman

    A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

    Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

    Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

    Fat

    You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

    CPR

    I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

    I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.