Person jokes

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"

Student: "I'm not going."

Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"

Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?

'Cause she always dropped them.

Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeves in a house fire.

What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?

A bath bomb.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Som Ting Wong.

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.