Person jokes
I am cool.
Ethan Fennel
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Memes
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Josh is chubby.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
You are quite [something].
Austin Nash
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"