Person jokes
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Alex Hayermann.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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