Person jokes
I want to be loved.
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.