Person jokes
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Memes
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
Paul Walker.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."