Person Jokes

If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.

My name is Gunter.

Josh Williams

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

Hi, I'm cool.

A Twitter post by PETA stating: "We'd rather date someone who fucks animals than someone who eats them." Below the text is an image of Tai Lung, a leopard from Kung Fu Panda, looking shocked or disturbed at a computer screen.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

I'm horny and gay.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.