Person jokes
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.