Person jokes

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!

When a white person says the n word,

black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

What do you call a person with cancer?

A ghost with a body.

Hi, my name is Jeff.

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

Follow me if you know someone smart.

Paul Walker.

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?

A cutting board.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.