Person jokes
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
He wasn't that bad.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.