I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Person Jokes
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
