Person jokes
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Ayo, who's online :')
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
what up
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
Hi person reading this.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Person: Why? You: No.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.