Person jokes
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
Gvido gubis.
Who is this Gwen everyone is talking about?
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?