Person jokes
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
What do you call a person?
A person.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
Beau is gay.
Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.