Person jokes

Blind Person

  • So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

    When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

  • 3
  • Life

  • Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

    ...

    You do realize that I said nothing, right?

    Me: Exactly :)

    Suicide

  • People complain we are overpopulated.

    Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

  • 3
  • Clock

  • Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

    "These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

    "Oh, cool."

    "This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

    "Makes sense."

    "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

    "Where's Trump's clock?"

    "Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

    And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

  • 6
  • Mile

  • Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

  • 1
  • Girlfriend

  • You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

  • 1