Person jokes
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
They are hairy.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.