Person jokes
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Helen Keller, more like hell 'n killer.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
What do you call a dwarf?
Adrian!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
Your momma!
Person you don't know, my name.
Tyson?
Whoever made WorstJokesEver is going to hell.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.