Person jokes

Car

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

Cannibal

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Cereal

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

Memes

Autism

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Life

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

Weight

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Girl

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

Knee

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

Child

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Cinderella

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

Chat

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.