Person jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
I will pay someone to kill me.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Who is this Gwen everyone is talking about?
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!