Person jokes
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Paul Walker.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Follow me if you know someone smart.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.