Person jokes

What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?

A cutting board.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

Josh Williams

My name is Gunter.

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

Hi, I'm cool.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

I'm horny and gay.