Person jokes
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.