Person jokes
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Memes
we did it, boys
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.