Person jokes

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

What is a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

What is a gay person’s favourite meal?

Willy con carne.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.