Person jokes
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Campbell.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
Gvido gubis.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
Why did the little boy cry? He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.