Person jokes

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

What do you tell a depressed person?

Just hang in there!

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.

In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

What is a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.