Person jokes

Lot

  • I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

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    Life

  • Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

    ...

    You do realize that I said nothing, right?

    Me: Exactly :)

    Prize

  • Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

    I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

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    Location

  • Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

    Police: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH?

    Police: Ends call.

    Me: Calls hospital.

    Hospital: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

    Hospital: Hangs up.

    Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

    Fire: No fire.

    Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

    Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

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    Orphan

  • My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!

    Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."

    What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!

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    Language

  • Why do you joke about Helen Keller?

    She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!

    Mom

  • Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

    Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

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