Person jokes
If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.
Sorry, no adults allowed.
Only 3 per person.
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!
Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."
What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
I (DYM 61).
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?