Person jokes
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
Campbell.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
I am a beautiful person.
Hi person reading this.
"Ur mum gay..."
Sorry wrong person.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
Oliver
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.