Person jokes
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
Kendon is a loser!
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Poop Jackson.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Talk to me if you're online.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Hi... I'm depressed.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.