Ethan Rice
Person Jokes
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you call a retard?
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Looks like he never charged up fully.