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Person jokes

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?

Good thing it was a "soft" drink!

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"

Person 2: "What is it?"

Person 1: "Plagiarism!"