Perception jokes

If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Want to hear the worst joke ever? Then look in a mirror.

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race? Because everybody already left.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

Dark humor is like water.

Not everybody gets it.

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.