Perception jokes

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?

Wife: You have good eyesight.

I looked in the mirror.

What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?

Do you know where Helen Keller lives?

Neither does she.

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

Your reflection.

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.