People jokes
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
Cameron and Pav.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
CJ and Declan's Relationship!
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.