You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
How do crazy people get through a forest? They take the psycho-path!
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Women.
My brother
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
