People jokes
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
I hate autistic people.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?