Pencil jokes
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Yo mama is so fat, she brought a pencil to early intervention!
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.