Peanut Jokes

A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.

One was a salted

Who answers the door at the peanut mansion? The peanut butler.

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.

What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party? “Nice spread!”

When is the peanut butter due to arrive? In a Jif.

Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.

What is a popular name for girl peanuts? Michelle.

Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road? It went with the traffic jam.

what does the Peanut butter baby say "Ah"

Friend: what are you doing me: putting peanut butter on my balls. Friend hears in the distance, orphans I have food for you

What do women and peanut butter haven in common? They're both easy to spread

sso i was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids table i stood up and i threw a opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled. "25 kill streak" 🤣😂

Why did Mr peanut die? His cane snapped.

Whats ur mom and a dog got in common? Both will lick dick if u put peanut butter on it.

What type of fish goes best with peanut butter? Jellyfish!

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the peanut.

if a walnut is nut on the wall then what is peanut 😳

One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.