Peanut jokes
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
I like peanut butter and honey.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!