Valentine's Day jokes
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Memes
Mine is better than all of yours
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.
The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Memes
Community
Fun fact: if you die on February 13th you are garunteed to get flowers on valentines day
AHAHRIFBIRBFIBNAIKBNSZIFB NEW BOOK IDEA Valentines Wrath
Core Premise (Cleaned Up)
On Valentine’s Day, a woman is publicly and cruelly dumped by her boyfriend—who admits he has been cheating. Rather than confront the betrayal directly, she becomes fixated on the other woman. She engineers a “chance” meeting, befriends her, and slowly builds an intense emotional connection. What begins as revenge evolves into something far more dangerous and intimate, culminating in the two women having an affair—turning the original betrayal back on the man who caused it.
Bro I just realised Valentines Day was on Friday