Parent Jokes

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?

They wanted some family time.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

Like if you can relate and comment if you think this is funny

The image consists of two panels. The top panel shows a text saying "7 y/o me in my dad's car: Dad, I wanna turn on the light. Can I press this button?" with an image of a hand about to press a car light button. The bottom panel shows a text saying "My dad:" with an image of the character Rocket Racoon from the movie Guardians of the Galaxy saying "No!! That's the button that will kill everyone".

Why was the orphan stupid?

Because his parents couldn't guide him.

Me: Hi Jacob!

Jacob: Hi.

Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!

Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

Why was 6 so afraid of 7?

7 killed 6's parents.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.