Parent

Parent jokes

Dad

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Guy

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

Child

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Memes

Shooting

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Christmas

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Comeback

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Dick

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Orphan

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Accident

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

Life

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

Tree

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

9/11

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

Memory

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)