Parent jokes
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.