Parent jokes
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.