Parent jokes

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

Why are orphans always sad?

Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.

What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.