Parent jokes
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Memes
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.