Parent jokes
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.