Parent jokes

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?

Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

What is the thing that orphans miss the most?

Their parents.

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.