Parent jokes
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.