Parent jokes
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Your mom after your dad left and never came back with the milk
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."