Parent jokes

A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.

The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.

The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Joker: Knock knock...

Batman: Who's there?

Joker: Not your parents!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find a way home.