Parent jokes

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"

Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"

What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?

A dad joke.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.