Parent jokes

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."

An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.

Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"

Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.

What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?

A dad joke.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."