Parent jokes
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.