Parent jokes
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
FOR REAL
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.