Parent jokes

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

Why do orphans stay home alone?

Because they don't have parents.

Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because nobody misses them.

What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.

Why is it okay to hit orphans?

It's not like they can tell their parents.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...