Parent jokes
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.