Parent jokes
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.