Parent jokes
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."