Parent jokes

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

Why does an orphanage have milk?

Because Dad never came back with the milk.

If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

What do you call an orphan with parents?

Idk, I never met one before.

Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

An orphan.

Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

Because they can’t find one.

lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.