Paralyzed Jokes

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell Shocked

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon...

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays

*in the hospital* paralyzed kid : I'm out *walks out the room* blind kid : you can walk?! mute kid : you can see?! deaf kid : you can talk?! doctor : wut the f(beep)k

my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun? Special Forces

Why don't parylized people kaugh they hate stand up comedy

Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here

Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up

Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up

Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Doctor: * calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency

Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up

911 service: * hangs up*

what has legs but cant walk...dont know?A paralyzed person;))