Paralysis jokes
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
There may be hope for Stephen Hawking yet.
His nose runs.
Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Community talk
Guys, it's not looking too well...
I survived, but I'm no longer the person who I used to be.
I'm now strapped onto a wheel chair, paralyzed from the waist down. The "waxing paper" thankfully didn't reach any vital organs, but it did cause numbness in my buttocks and my legs a few minutes after I had done the act, which later lead to me having paralysis.
It gets even worse...
Sadly, my girlfriend left me due to … Read more
Guys help I keep getting sleep paralysis how do I get rid of it