Paralyzed jokes

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

*in the hospital*

Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

*walks out the room*

Blind kid: You can walk?!

Mute kid: You can see?!

Deaf kid: You can talk?!

Doctor: Wut the f**k?

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

What has legs but can't walk?

Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.

Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."

And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"

Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"