Why did you put yo dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all This? Because I forget to wash and dry them with paper towel.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and ask do i have any crack candy naw I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples all i have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich help yourself and while your at it clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere thank you mr toilet papers.
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I’m a butcher" SHE:“perfect i work with humans i just kill them by cutting them up!” HE:"so its you in the news paper?"SHE:"yes it was,wanna be next?" HE:"no!"
i saw identical twins. i threw a paper plane at them.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked "How is that supposed to work?". I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK
Hay guys I use toilet paper
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
..their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbells tables but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up. The manager then walked over to him, and asked "You're hogging the dumbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
why do u have to wipe yourself with toilet paper because bugs can crawl eat your poop and drink your pee
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I'm on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭
Only really smart people will get this with out it being explained
Toilet paper fight hat
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P U. U. U. U N. N. N. N S. S. S. S
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common “They are all very tearable” he replied Well, there is one person who gets it!
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper? ... We’re wiped out!
you like to draw? bc I like the m d, raw :)
My sister just sits on the toilet on the iPad then I go to do something at the sink and she says Bella give me toilet paper 🧻 Then I am 😑 annoyed like super
You dropped your toilet paper right and you you want to pick it up but you can't because you have 💩 poop in your but and it scwoshd😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.
