Pants jokes
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants? Because they always get a hole in one!
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.